Sunday, January 30, 2011

Learning How To Suck Your Own Cock

back in no ... BTW I'm back

Well, the crisis is happening. And understand what is happening to me again, because it is not the first time it happens, but I realized I could not trust what they thought and felt those feelings and thoughts were not merely the result of consciousness altered where I was, that in which I get whenever approaching a major change in my life. That I felt when I left home, that I felt when my sister went to Hermosillo.

, "All those times I was very upset and suffered, and cried and went through all the stages of acceptance, this time he wanted to skip all stages, would not suffer, I did not mourn. Obviously I did not and was just as well because he is reaching acceptance.

And now with the clearest mind I can see that I'm in the same, here I be, I want to stay here, I live here, I want to work here ... I mean, I'll be here, I'm staying here, I live here, here I go to work . I've always gone with me, always one way or another I got what I wanted, I have always done what I proposed, and now, with the help God, I trust, I know it will not be otherwise.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Sitting On Slaves Stomach



And the worst part is that I'm starting to doubt, to believe this to be here is not what I really want, and the worst part is that if I may so me come to believe, although that's not true.

Blueberry Juice Black Stool



always say the best is yet to come, and if so I do not even want to imagine what awaits me after this holiday and how incredible I was spent from December 4 until yesterday night I had to return to reality.

This time I will not recount all that made these days, Christmas, the piƱata contest, the new year, the day of kings and might do so later but I do not feel in the mood.

Today I have not had, nor do I have mood for anything. Long ago I was not feeling well, I think the last time was when my sister and my nephews went to Hermosillo and I was alone. I am the turnip, bad, I have so many feelings, so many emotions, I have a hole in the stomach, a tightness in the chest and the sadness that never ends, that suddenly came to me yesterday after leaving my PP in the central , and has not left me alone all day. Now I can barely write, now I can barely read what I write for drain all the tears from my eyes.

Now I remember, this is what I had been protecting life, that's why they did not maintain any kind of emotional bond, so I was careful not love anyone without reservation. But it's too late, too late, there is nothing I can do, because I am here longing for the end of an era, by going back to my reality, having to get away from my affections, because now on top and are my affections, and not just my PP, is his mother, are his brothers, are our nephews, is our home, our space, our bed.

ridiculous here I am crying uncontrollably as if he had lost something, instead of being grateful that even at a distance, there is someone who loves me and thinks of me, somebody surprises me almost as much as I do, there is someone who is sad because it is not me.

This is very hard, I'm not good at dealing with these things.